The Cougars

Time to introduce to more people from the gym.

This group of women I call the Cougars, I encounter them on a Friday lunchtime and occasional weekends, you'll see why it's occasional in a moment.

They are middle aged and have a great time gossiping in the changing rooms, however they do differ from the Coven in several ways. This lot are quite friendly and more inclusive and do seem to meet up outside of the gym occasionally. They will also arrange impromptu birthday apero's and the like, having drinks and snacks after a workout - always a good idea.

Like the Coven they do seem to subscribe to the fact that women don't sweat when they exercise, they do use more than the minimum weights in body pump but never seem to increase the and push themselves harder. They get together at the beginning of class and have a chat and need to be told to stop, though often they are flirting with the instructors. At times the flirting is embarrassing to watch.
Unlike the Coven, the Cougars do appear to work and we seem to have lost the company of one of them on a Friday lunchtime since she got a new job.  They also rarely go swimming and don't hog the sauna for drying themselves off after a shower...

The reason they got their name (well I started calling them that in my head) is because they only ever go to Hot Guy's and the Cute One's classes. These are the younger and somewhat better looking instructors and the Cougars follow them around like a harem. At times is a little irritating but on the whole harmless. I also have to say that the two instructors concerned are better than the others in explaining the classes, correcting bad posture, looking after newcomers etc, so who can blame the Cougars for following them around?
I now only come across them on Friday lunchtimes and Monday evenings but spotted them following the instructors around when I first joined the gym and tried a few classes before settling on the ones that best fitted my work schedule.

I mentioned before that the instructors take turns at the weekends and they will suddenly turn up on a Sunday morning when Hot Guy is leading the class and occasionally when the Cute One is leading, but never on the other weekends! They then take over the front row, displacing the Sunday Morning Regulars and making a busy class even more crowded. Fortunately (probably because they are too busy arranging bar-b-q's or aperos) they never come to the steam room or pool, so the Regulars get to have some space to themselves.

The Geriatrics

This is quite a cute group of gym regulars and they always impress me as they show that you are never too old to benefit from exercise.

They tend to be seen in the early afternoons and rarely in the evenings - I guess they like the quieter times at the gym. There are quite a few of them and they all seem to have their own little quirks, so let me introduce you to a few of them.

Walking Stick Man - he shuffles onto the gym floor and tends to use the cardio equipment, though he once appeared at the back of the studio to take a weight, but I never saw what he used it for. He hangs or props his stick up on the machine he's going to use and slowly inches onto it, then off he goes - cycling or walking. Then when he's done, he collects his stick and shuffles off to the next piece of equipment.

Steam Room Woman - she comes in practically every afternoon, does a little bit of cardio then spends the rest of the time in the steam room and pool. She does go very slow in the pool (and unlike the coven) is aware of this and will make space if you want to swim laps. The other day someone called her 'Young', which she adored and she kept on saying 'She called me young! Me! I'm 92 and she called me young.' She's obviously got to that part of life where you stop lying about your age and start bragging.

Mr and Mrs - they arrive in the gym at ten minutes past four every Tuesday. He helps her through the new barriers and then they leave their bags by the door and go around and say hello to all the geri's - and this being France - by giving the double kiss. It doesn't matter what exercise the 'greetee' is doing, they have to stop and be kissed by this couple.

Miss Rambler - who wears an outfit that would be more suited to a cross country hike rather than a gym - long trousers that zip off into shorts, walking trainers and dark glasses. To her credit, she does the classes and has improved in each one.

Mrs Black Hair - who is off the age where jet black hair is fooling no one - and spends her time in the gym chatting or checking herself out in the mirror. If you thought it was only the young gym bunnies who constantly check themselves out in the mirror, then think again....

The Gym Douce Girls - they turn up for each and every 'easy' class - bodybalance, aqua, gym douce, le stretch etc like a crowd of starlings and do their bit, moaning and flirting but getting stuck in. Then afterwards they chat away in the changing rooms comparing grandchildren, hospital experiences, gynecological problems, hairdressing tips the works, then suddenly all disappear again.

They are there, week in, week out. Maybe the gym is some sort of social life for some of them but most of them do come to exercise and you can see that it is helping to keep the active and is benefiting them all, whatever their level of mobility and fitness. I hope I can be doing that when I'm 92 too. 

The Staff 2

Time to introduce some more of the staff!

First up is the Chief Guy.
Now he is a true example of French employment logic. He is the eldest and therefore the boss of the instructors, even though he is the worst instructor ever. He never asks if there is anyone new in the class, he never demonstrates the moves correctly (which can be quite dangerous when you're asking people to lift heavy weights) and - this is the worst bit, he can't even do some of the moves.
Cute Guy moaned once about a difficult, optional move in body balance that he didn't like but said he'd been told to include the move by Chief. The funny thing about this is the Chief doesn't include the move in his class!
I eventually have decided that he has a problem with his knees as he can't do squats properly and always uses light weights. In body balance he can't do a Hindi Squat or a Swan pose. Now this is fine in itself, lots of people have problems with their bodies when they are reaching their late 50's but I just wish he would say so, rather than just do the moves incorrectly and have a class full of people copying him and potentially damaging their joints. Just saying.
He is also the worst at singing along to English lyrics, badly. Very badly. Always gets the lyrics wrong (in case you think I'm being judgmental - I never sing along to any song French or English, unless I know the words!) At the moment we have the joy of Flo Rida's 'Whistle' for our ab track in body pump, which is a song about blow jobs. Having Chief singing 'Can you blow my whistle baby?' is just not good. Seriously.
This week he has taken to wearing his baseball cap backwards.....

Fortunately I can avoid most of his classes except on the rotating weekends and he also alternates a Tuesday body pump with Chatty Girl, and she is lovely.

In fact, I wish she did more classes, she was brought in when another instructor (who didn't do the Les Mills classes) left and so got put on her schedule of sculpt, aqua, step etc - but I think she is the most qualified instructor in the gym, so they now let her do these alternating classes on a Tuesday, which is a little frustrating as she is really good.
She's funny and chatty but not in an obnoxious way. She also challenges you and encourages you to do more (no wonder the Coven all disappear when it's her turn to lead the class as they don't want to lift more than 5kg!) Her sculpt classes are a real challenge!
I think she's worked abroad as her English seems very good (well she gets the lyrics right when she sings the songs and her accent is good!), in fact I must ask her one day, but she's never in the changing room long enough for a chat.

So there you are, two more of our instructors. I guess like most gyms, there are those you like and you tend to gravitate towards their classes when you can and those you don't and you try and have as little to do with them as possible.

Oh, in case you're wondering - Leotard Woman wasn't wearing her leotard today, but I'll keep you updated on any more sightings!

Shock Horror

A leotard was seen at the gym today.
I was so surprised I nearly feel off the cross trainer.
It was blue and worn with blue and white stripy leggings.

This is the worst bit - it looked new.
Yes, new.

Now this lead me to wonder why and here are a few possibilities....

1 - this woman is so bang on trend (I admit I'm not) and she's streets ahead of the rest of us.

2 - she was having an 80's throwback moment (she's in her early 50's, so it's possible.)

3 - she's a mature gymnast and was stopping in at the gym on her way to gymnastics class.

Which do you think?

The Staff 1

Time to introduce to some of the staff at the gym, so here goes.

First up are some of the gym instructors.

They do the weekend shifts on rotation, so today we had Cute Guy. Please feel free to blame one of my friends for the naming of the gym guys. She used to do Ju Jitsu here in Lyon and practically all her conversations would start 'So there was this hot guy at the gym...' We used to have code names for them all, in fact it was quite a surprise to occasionally meet one and find out they had a proper name. So this habit continued when I joined my gym and I was finally able to start conversations with 'So when I saw hot guy at the gym...'

Back to Cute Guy. He really is very sweet, has a lovely personality and you do just want to pick him up and put him in your pocket. He is one of the better instructors and is good at explaining correct movements etc and keeping an eye on everyone in the class. I regularly go to his body balance class on a Monday night. He is also honest if he can't do something (unlike one of the other instructors), for instance some of the advanced moves in body balance are a wee bit challenging and he can't make all of them. He moaned bitterly about the Crow Pose saying that on the training videos all the instructors would just pop up into it and he really couldn't do it. It makes the class slightly refreshing.
Cute Guy has also been known to shake things up a bit, like the other week when he changed the order of the body pump to make it more challenging, but I think I moaned commented about that in a previous post, so won't go about that now.
I think he's been on a Stretch course recently as today he had us doing some strange shoulder and arm stretches that I have never come across before and the other week he had us all lying on the floor with our legs up the walls doing bizarre moves to lengthen our hamstrings and glutes.
He does have a reasonable English accent and doesn't sound too bad when singing along to the lyrics of the songs. He does get the correct lyrics too, which is not always the case. I also like him as he will go and switch the aircon on when necessary and not have a great debate with everyone about it. The French seem to have some mortal fear of the aircon and really don't like having it on, but believe you me, when you have 30 people in a small room, all sweating - you need it!

There is also Petite Girly who was on duty last weekend. I only ever do her classes when she has the weekend shift, so don't really see her that often. She is tiny. I also am not sure if she is boarder line anorexic as she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her. She does have a set of abs to die for. She is very quiet and just comes into the studio, does the class and thats that. No chatting and interacting, just does her stuff. In some ways it can be refreshing, in other ways I don't find it very motivating.
She does have the annoying habit of dictating what weights you should be using in body pump and will, for example, frequently say that the women should use a small and medium weight as a maximum for the triceps, as I'm putting on the large weights on the bar (as encouraged to by the other instructors.)
I do feel a little sorry for her, as she has to do the body pump training but she only takes one class every 4 weeks, so the Sunday Morning Regulars always know the routine better than she does. Last Sunday she gave up the pretense and did one of the older releases and actually it was fun to be having a bit of variety, so I hope she does that again.

That's it for now, I'll introduce some more instructors another time! 

Oh, what shall I wear...??

In the early weeks of January one of the Saturday Afternoon Regulars was seen sporting a new work out outfit, with YSL inscribed on it. I have no idea if it was genuine at all, but it did seem rather an odd departure from her normal wear, so I'll hazard a guess it was a Christmas present.

Fortunately things seemed to have changed a lot since the 80's when work out wear was a leotard and legwarmers (and of course a sweat band carefully arranged in your hair), and things seem to be a lot more relaxed now and cover a little more of your body. However there still seems to be a uniform of leggings and tops at the moment.

I am pleased to report that I feel more body confident now and so have moved from the baggy T shirt, let's hide my body as much as I can look, to wearing a more form fitting dri-wick top, which is actually way more comfortable, especially as the French have a hatred of air-con.

At the moment pink racer back T shirts are the in thing. In fact these racer back T shirts are the in thing, probably because they cost a mere €7 from Decathlon. As mentioned the popular colourway seems to be pink top and black leggings. However one Coven member has a bright turquoise top and leggings combo which she delights us with from time to time. Sunglasses optional. Leggings can vary from skinny to the ankle, capri style and yoga pants. Anything goes. After an organised run you may see a T shirt or two proudly proclaiming that their wearers took part in a 10k or marathon but then they disappear again. One woman has a T shirt with a sperm swimming up over her shoulder, the front is too worn to see what it is saying but it intrigues me. Midriff bearing tops are only worn by 2 women and one of those also wears shorts as well. Everyone else seems to remain well covered!

Men seem to go for the T shirt and shorts option and there are some interesting T-shirts to read during class. I once saw a guy wearing an England top as he ran on the treadmill and thought that was a brave top for him to wear. As the gym is Lyon there are a fair amount of Olympic Lyonnais combos at any one time. However, if you are a guy reading this please, please, please don't think that nylon football tops are appropriate gym wear. They make you stink. So don't. Ok? I am also pleased to report that the craze for men to wear stupidly small muscle T's and brightly coloured jogging bottoms has disappeared but compression tops are still worn by some of the more serious body builders.

There is the usual collection of named brands but the aforementioned Decathlon seems to be the most popular and beats Nike, Adidas et al hands down. A while ago, an older female was seen a couple of times in a Nike top that proudly proclaimed that she was a Porn Star, then I think someone must have translated the wording for her as she stopped wearing it.

 At one time my baggy T shirt look was acquired from not winning at the pub quiz, so I was sponsored by drink companies and promoted the likes of Fosters, Smirnoff, Desparados and Jack Daniels during body pump. I now have gone for the lazy option and found that black tops tend to co-ordinate with my black, navy or grey leggings very well, though do occasionally sport a bright coloured top so that I can't be accused of being too boring.  

Gym Gerbil

First up - I must apologise for a lack of posts at the end of last week but I was laid low with the lurgy and part from an update of my current temperature, there wasn't much to report.

So tonight I hauled myself of to the gym for the body balance class. Monday nights are not my favourite time to go but are marginally better than Friday nights, so Mondays it is then. And what a friendly night tonight was!

I arrived and was given the usual cheery greeting from the receptionist.

In the changing rooms I said a 'Bonjour's' to a some of regulars I see.

As I went to wait for the class to start a 'Hey, Charlotte, ça va?' was yelled across the gym floor from Hot Guy.

When the body pump class left the studio I saw one of the 2 people that I also know outside the gym, and had a quick chat.

Once inside the studio I saw the other person I know from outside the gym.

When leaving, I exchanged a couple of friendly 'Bon Nuits'.

When getting on the metro, I saw and 'bise'd' another guy I chat to regularly.

Now what does this all mean?

Has my strategy of slinking into the back of the class and keeping my head down totally failed?
Am I going too often?
Am I turning into (shock, horror) a Gym Bunny?????

This last option is too hard to think about, so I think I'll call myself a Gym Gerbil for a bit and see how that fits....

Improved flexibility

So in body balance on Saturday I was in a Hindi squat and then instructed to sit back on the mat behind me, and I have to admit I misjudged this slightly and landed with a bit of a bump. This caused the instructor to add 'délicatement avec grâce et finesse.' and smile at me. Bastard...

I enjoy body balance. In the dark, murky past I used to do Ashtanga yoga and Pilates and used to be very flexible and strong. I used to be a real flexigirl. The Ashtanga was very dynamic and was hard!

At the gym that I used to go to in the UK the guys on the gym floor were very good at telling all the 'muscle men' to do stretching and advising them to go to stretch classes. So every now and then one of them would appear in a yoga class, looking slightly nervous but at the same time confident that they would find a stretch class easy peasy. A few of them made it beyond the sun salutations, some even made the first half hour. I only remember 1 of them sticking with it and returning week after week.

My gym now doesn't do yoga but does body balance (a mix of tai chi, yoga and pilates) and stretch classes - imaginatively titled Le Stretch.

I've been working away at these and have got most of my flexibility back, isn't muscle memory is amazing. I do feel a lot better after each class, it's good to feel all stretched out. The only thing I have trouble with is my hips, I can do forward bends, and my back bends are pretty good, but my hips.... They always have been difficult, I have never been able to a lotus position for example.

The latest couple of releases have had some tough hip openers, and I began to notice a gradual change, which has been good. Then for the last 3 Sundays the instructors have again concentrated on doing hip opening exercises, and boy have my hips been painful. It has payed off and though painful, I can reach deeper into stretches and feel really pleased. Finally the hard work is playing off.

Still can't do the lotus position though....

Pride commeth before a sore bum!

So after posting the moan the other day about the lack of effort some of the women put in at the gym, it seems that actually I could have been putting more effort in too!

Shortly after publishing that post, I sauntered into my usual body pump class and thought to myself that I needed to up the weights for the squats - so I put two more kilos on the bar and was feeling dead proud of myself when I completed the track with no major incidents.
Then we got to the tricep track and Hot Guy told C (another female who uses similar levels of weights as me) and I to go to 10 kilos. I start shaking my head slowly at him and he nods slowly back saying "Ah yes, Charlotte". As C did, I had to too!
I survived, though the last few chest presses were a little wobbly.

Then Hot Guy tells us to use the 5 kilo weights for the first part of the shoulder track, this was actually quite easy to do and I had been thinking about it being the next set of weights that I increased.

 When I increase the weights I normally put them up for one set of muscles, then see how it goes for a couple of weeks, then when I'm comfortable with that, will think about increasing the weights for another set of muscles. So uping the weights in three sets of muscles on one day was a big a thing.

Two days later, on the Sunday, I amble into the class thinking to myself "It's Petite Girly today, so I'll try the new weights but if I get tired, I'll go back to my normal weights for the shoulder tracks."

But to my surprise Hot Guy is there instead of PG, so I can't wimp down can I?
Then he gives us the 'option' to increase the weights for the back muscles - and calls out my name as one of 'Les Experts' who he expects to see with increased weights.

I ached all week, finally feeling better after a good stretch in body balance on Saturday.

Then yesterday, just as my friend and I are gossiping before the class starts, Cute Guy announces that he changing the running order of the body pump class to make it more challenging. Not what I wanted to hear.
He put the lunges straight after the squats (no time for the legs to recover) Then strung all of the upper body ones together (again no time to recover) and had a new, tougher tricep track. It was a challenge.

Despite a session in the steam room, I ached all afternoon, especially my arms and as for my bum.... I raided my medicine drawer and though I didn't have any ibuprofen, found relief in some paracetamol and codeine tablets (really can't remember what I was given them for.)

Despite all the bitching and the achy body, it does feel achy in a good way - I know that I've worked hard and tested my muscles. However I would like to keep these weights for a little while before any more 'challenges' arrive.

The Coven

I feel it is time to introduce you to some of the people at the gym.

First up is the group of women that I call the Coven. This is in my mind, I haven't yet done it to their faces but there may well be a day soon... Don't get too excited by the name, this is the last group of women you'd expect to see dancing naked through the woods at midnight, I call them that because they cackle very loudly and rather too often.

They go to the gym everyday in the mid afternoon, do as little 'working out' as they can possibly get away with, talk very loudly, take over the changing rooms and then leave.

Sometimes I can laugh at them, other days I want to punch them.

They are all middle aged ladies who instead of lunching, go and annoy everyone at the gym. There about 7 of them but fortunately they don't all turn up at once but, boy do they have the capacity to talk.

There they are on the treadmills at a slow walking pace with a slight incline - chatting to each other.

There they are in body pump, using 1kg weights, (or even no weights or bar) - chatting to each other.

There they are strolling along in the swimming pool - chatting to each other.

I do find them annoying, fortunately I don't go often at the same time as them, so don't often see them. There seems to be a ringleader and it reminds me of the school gang, and the others try and keep up with her. She talks the loudest and the others follow. I really am tempted to point out to them that as they are standing so close to each other they don't have to shout, but then I'll just be the nasty teacher and they'll try and get back at me.

They have decided that the best way to dry themselves after a shower is to go into the sauna. Really annoying if you are relaxing in there. One will bang the door open and come in, then the others will follow 1 at a time (so lowering the temperature) squeeze into a tiny space, all trying to dry themselves at the same time, so elbows are going everywhere, then all leave separately - lowering the temperature even more.
Recently they have discovered that the most annoying way they can dry their feet is to use the hairdryers, so sit in a row - blocking the bit between the showers and the changing area, chatting loudly over the noise of the hairdryers.
Whatever happened to drying yourself with a towel?

Of course they can't get their hair wet - so they don't swim in the pool, they amble up and down it really, really slowly for 20 mins and tut at you if you get in their way by wanting to swim. I mean, who ever heard of actually swimming in a swimming pool?!?!

They flirt with the men in the class (who I don't think really like them) and swoon over the instructor S, who is the most unswoonable guy ever. Really! He's the worst instructor and gives you no motivation whatsoever, they like him as he calls out their names during the class which makes them all giggle. Fortunately he doesn't know my name. Even more fortunately he has started alternating his class with one of the female gym staff (who makes you work hard) and on those weeks the Coven all discover that they have an injury of one sort or another and so stay in the cardio area. Relief!

For the Coven the gym is a place to meet up and chat, and I guess there's nothing wrong in that, I just wish they weren't so loud and were a little more considerate of others. Also, though they are doing very little exercise, at least they are doing something which is better than nothing.

Pet Peeves

I was slightly late to the body pump class today so wasn't in my normal spot and instead was at the back of the class amongst 'les experts' - the people who put loads of weights on the bar and generally try to look impressive and intimidating. Ok, I exaggerate, but they do put loads of weights on the bar, which leads to one of my pet peeves....

They have so much weight that they cannot do the moves properly!!!!!

What's the point in doing a squat, if the bar is so heavy on your back that you are only doing half a squat, or missing out parts of the routine??? Even worse - doing both???
I was about to ask if it was some sort of macho thing, as it's normally guys that do it, but today there was a girly doing it.

Despite the instructor really going into detail about how the moves should be, they just ignore him and do their own thing. It can't be good for the muscles and probably is a stepping stone to injury. They are straining to lift the weights,  contorting their whole bodies to do bicep curls, instead of just using the arms etc. Just drop a couple of kilos and do the exercise properly! It's far better to work up the weights slowly and steadily.

However at the other end of the scale are those who put no effort in whatsoever and never break into a sweat. They use the lowest weights possible and don't seem to have progressed at all over the last year or so.

Not sure which I find more annoying, I'll get back to you on that...

Hello and welcome

This is just a short introduction and explanation as to why I'm writing this blog.

Last year I managed to lose over 16kg of weight and felt really pleased with myself. It was a mixture of changing my diet and incorporating more exercise into my life.

Some of the things that I see at the gym amuse me greatly and I have shared them with my friends but would also like to share them with more people, some of the stories are to good not to share!
Whilst telling some of these stories during a recent trip back home over Christmas, a couple of friends encouraged me to blog about them. I was also asked a lot about how I have lost the weight so these two points, combined with the fact that I still have some more weight to lose (not helped by Christmas!) helped me decide to start this new blog.

My aim is to write a couple of times a week about the different weight loss tips, motivational tips etc that I find helpful as well as throwing in some of the amusing anecdotes I see at the gym.

Although the gym I go to is in France, I'm sure that many of the stories are pretty universal.

I hope you enjoy reading these!