The Cougars

Time to introduce to more people from the gym.

This group of women I call the Cougars, I encounter them on a Friday lunchtime and occasional weekends, you'll see why it's occasional in a moment.

They are middle aged and have a great time gossiping in the changing rooms, however they do differ from the Coven in several ways. This lot are quite friendly and more inclusive and do seem to meet up outside of the gym occasionally. They will also arrange impromptu birthday apero's and the like, having drinks and snacks after a workout - always a good idea.

Like the Coven they do seem to subscribe to the fact that women don't sweat when they exercise, they do use more than the minimum weights in body pump but never seem to increase the and push themselves harder. They get together at the beginning of class and have a chat and need to be told to stop, though often they are flirting with the instructors. At times the flirting is embarrassing to watch.
Unlike the Coven, the Cougars do appear to work and we seem to have lost the company of one of them on a Friday lunchtime since she got a new job.  They also rarely go swimming and don't hog the sauna for drying themselves off after a shower...

The reason they got their name (well I started calling them that in my head) is because they only ever go to Hot Guy's and the Cute One's classes. These are the younger and somewhat better looking instructors and the Cougars follow them around like a harem. At times is a little irritating but on the whole harmless. I also have to say that the two instructors concerned are better than the others in explaining the classes, correcting bad posture, looking after newcomers etc, so who can blame the Cougars for following them around?
I now only come across them on Friday lunchtimes and Monday evenings but spotted them following the instructors around when I first joined the gym and tried a few classes before settling on the ones that best fitted my work schedule.

I mentioned before that the instructors take turns at the weekends and they will suddenly turn up on a Sunday morning when Hot Guy is leading the class and occasionally when the Cute One is leading, but never on the other weekends! They then take over the front row, displacing the Sunday Morning Regulars and making a busy class even more crowded. Fortunately (probably because they are too busy arranging bar-b-q's or aperos) they never come to the steam room or pool, so the Regulars get to have some space to themselves.

The Chief Witch - on her own!

I was doing some interval training on the cross trainer today, when I suddenly noticed the chief witch, tucked away in the corner and doing her best not to exercise on one of the bikes.
It was much earlier than the usual witching hour, when the coven descends on the gym and she was all alone. At first I was surprised, then realised that since she has come back from her long holiday in Spain (boy, did I enjoy those weeks) she has not been around as much as usual.

Sure she appears in the gym, but rarely does the classes. She would still met up with the other witches in the pool afterwards and lead the conversations in the changing rooms, but has gradually been reducing her appearances.

Has there been a big row? Are they in disagreement about who could be the most annoying? Have they decided to explore other career paths? Have they split because of musical differences? I will endeavor to eavesdrop and find out for you, but for the moment it does mean the gym is a much quieter and more pleasant place to be.

After my workout I was doing my usual couple of post steam-room lazy laps to cool down and was enjoying having the pool to myself, when she suddenly appeared next to me about to commence her 'walking' slowly up and down the pool exercises.
It is a narrow pool and she likes to walk round the edges of it, making lap swimming impossible. I seized my moment and stuck hard to my 'lane' and swam furiously up and and down, forcing her to to use the other 'lane' for her walking.

To be fair her walking appeared to be much quicker as she was on her own, I guess she was able to use the extra energy she usually expends on talking annoying loudly.

For me however this did mean that my usual cool down, lazy laps became another workout as I really wanted to make my point and show her how a pool is normally used. For all that extra effort I put in, it better have done!

PS - did the new release of body pump today - will have achy muscles tonight. Much, much harder than the last one.....

Oh, what shall I wear...??

In the early weeks of January one of the Saturday Afternoon Regulars was seen sporting a new work out outfit, with YSL inscribed on it. I have no idea if it was genuine at all, but it did seem rather an odd departure from her normal wear, so I'll hazard a guess it was a Christmas present.

Fortunately things seemed to have changed a lot since the 80's when work out wear was a leotard and legwarmers (and of course a sweat band carefully arranged in your hair), and things seem to be a lot more relaxed now and cover a little more of your body. However there still seems to be a uniform of leggings and tops at the moment.

I am pleased to report that I feel more body confident now and so have moved from the baggy T shirt, let's hide my body as much as I can look, to wearing a more form fitting dri-wick top, which is actually way more comfortable, especially as the French have a hatred of air-con.

At the moment pink racer back T shirts are the in thing. In fact these racer back T shirts are the in thing, probably because they cost a mere €7 from Decathlon. As mentioned the popular colourway seems to be pink top and black leggings. However one Coven member has a bright turquoise top and leggings combo which she delights us with from time to time. Sunglasses optional. Leggings can vary from skinny to the ankle, capri style and yoga pants. Anything goes. After an organised run you may see a T shirt or two proudly proclaiming that their wearers took part in a 10k or marathon but then they disappear again. One woman has a T shirt with a sperm swimming up over her shoulder, the front is too worn to see what it is saying but it intrigues me. Midriff bearing tops are only worn by 2 women and one of those also wears shorts as well. Everyone else seems to remain well covered!

Men seem to go for the T shirt and shorts option and there are some interesting T-shirts to read during class. I once saw a guy wearing an England top as he ran on the treadmill and thought that was a brave top for him to wear. As the gym is Lyon there are a fair amount of Olympic Lyonnais combos at any one time. However, if you are a guy reading this please, please, please don't think that nylon football tops are appropriate gym wear. They make you stink. So don't. Ok? I am also pleased to report that the craze for men to wear stupidly small muscle T's and brightly coloured jogging bottoms has disappeared but compression tops are still worn by some of the more serious body builders.

There is the usual collection of named brands but the aforementioned Decathlon seems to be the most popular and beats Nike, Adidas et al hands down. A while ago, an older female was seen a couple of times in a Nike top that proudly proclaimed that she was a Porn Star, then I think someone must have translated the wording for her as she stopped wearing it.

 At one time my baggy T shirt look was acquired from not winning at the pub quiz, so I was sponsored by drink companies and promoted the likes of Fosters, Smirnoff, Desparados and Jack Daniels during body pump. I now have gone for the lazy option and found that black tops tend to co-ordinate with my black, navy or grey leggings very well, though do occasionally sport a bright coloured top so that I can't be accused of being too boring.  

The Coven

I feel it is time to introduce you to some of the people at the gym.

First up is the group of women that I call the Coven. This is in my mind, I haven't yet done it to their faces but there may well be a day soon... Don't get too excited by the name, this is the last group of women you'd expect to see dancing naked through the woods at midnight, I call them that because they cackle very loudly and rather too often.

They go to the gym everyday in the mid afternoon, do as little 'working out' as they can possibly get away with, talk very loudly, take over the changing rooms and then leave.

Sometimes I can laugh at them, other days I want to punch them.

They are all middle aged ladies who instead of lunching, go and annoy everyone at the gym. There about 7 of them but fortunately they don't all turn up at once but, boy do they have the capacity to talk.

There they are on the treadmills at a slow walking pace with a slight incline - chatting to each other.

There they are in body pump, using 1kg weights, (or even no weights or bar) - chatting to each other.

There they are strolling along in the swimming pool - chatting to each other.

I do find them annoying, fortunately I don't go often at the same time as them, so don't often see them. There seems to be a ringleader and it reminds me of the school gang, and the others try and keep up with her. She talks the loudest and the others follow. I really am tempted to point out to them that as they are standing so close to each other they don't have to shout, but then I'll just be the nasty teacher and they'll try and get back at me.

They have decided that the best way to dry themselves after a shower is to go into the sauna. Really annoying if you are relaxing in there. One will bang the door open and come in, then the others will follow 1 at a time (so lowering the temperature) squeeze into a tiny space, all trying to dry themselves at the same time, so elbows are going everywhere, then all leave separately - lowering the temperature even more.
Recently they have discovered that the most annoying way they can dry their feet is to use the hairdryers, so sit in a row - blocking the bit between the showers and the changing area, chatting loudly over the noise of the hairdryers.
Whatever happened to drying yourself with a towel?

Of course they can't get their hair wet - so they don't swim in the pool, they amble up and down it really, really slowly for 20 mins and tut at you if you get in their way by wanting to swim. I mean, who ever heard of actually swimming in a swimming pool?!?!

They flirt with the men in the class (who I don't think really like them) and swoon over the instructor S, who is the most unswoonable guy ever. Really! He's the worst instructor and gives you no motivation whatsoever, they like him as he calls out their names during the class which makes them all giggle. Fortunately he doesn't know my name. Even more fortunately he has started alternating his class with one of the female gym staff (who makes you work hard) and on those weeks the Coven all discover that they have an injury of one sort or another and so stay in the cardio area. Relief!

For the Coven the gym is a place to meet up and chat, and I guess there's nothing wrong in that, I just wish they weren't so loud and were a little more considerate of others. Also, though they are doing very little exercise, at least they are doing something which is better than nothing.